Nurture and Admiration

The most important thing I learned from Gottman’s book is the importance of nurturing your fondness and admiration for your spouse. It seems like such an easy thing to do but as time has gone on in my marriage or when changes have happened, I have slacked off a little.  It’s not that I have forgotten, it’s just that now, I have children to take care of, school work, kid’s activities, church responsibilities and so much more. The early years of our marriage was just the two of us.  It was much easier to focus on each other before kids came.  I assume sometimes that my husband knows how much I love and appreciate all that he does for me.  I have realized that by reading Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, I need to take more time to express and verbalize the admiration I have for him. Gottman (2015) states, “Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance” (p.69).

I have enjoyed reading and learning more on this topic. Gottman (2015) states., “If a couple still have a functioning fondness and admiration system, their marriage is salvageable” (p.68).  That says a lot about how we need to do are part to make sure are marriage is being taken care of.  Gottman (2015) states, “Fondness and admiration are antidotes for contempt” (p.71). I learned that if I on focus on all the good things my husband does for me, it is harder to be angry with him when he does something might bother me.    Showing appreciation goes a long way.  This principles caused me to reflect on my own marriage and I’ve realized that I need to do better and expressing my thanks for all of the big and small things my husband does not only for me but for our family also.